I have been exchanging e-mails with my e-pals all over the world almost for a year. Yeah, in fact one year has passed since I started to write e-mails in English. I can hardly believe it. The year passed by was both long and short in different senses. I sometimes think I have written e-mails all of my life. And I also think one year has gone away rapidly from me, for I have been into it so much.
One night (Or was it in the morning? I'm not sure about it now) in late July last year, I was enjoying net-surfing as usual. I happened to access to a web page which put a lot of person's ad lists who were seeking for e-pals all over the world. And it was the beginning of everything.
I had my own web pages written in Japanese till then. So I must have been one of those who were into this cyberspace world. My web pages were consisted of many essays and articles of mine and others'. All were written in Japanese. But the topics there were mostly on articles of English magazines mainly including TIME and Newsweek. So I had read English pretty well till last July. But writing English is quite another thing from reading, I knew.
I had been interested in English literature since I was a student. I majored in political economy at the university, but my interest was always very various. I have read many English writers including Arthur Conan Doyle, George Orwell, E. A. Poe, Roald Dahl, Sidney Sheldon, Michael Crichton and Isaac Asimov. Reading English isn't easy, but anyway I have read and could enjoy English novels and non-fictions to some extent for a long time. But I have hardly written English including e-mails. No, it may not be the completely exact expression. For I had written a few very short stories and some mails in English, but they couldn't prove anything that I was a good English writer.
After some effort, I knew I didn't have the ability to write excellent English. I gave up writing stories and any other forms of writing in English . So I couldn't imagine I would write many e-mails in English, and I have been really enjoying for one year.
In fact at first I hadn't expected much about e-mails in this cyberspace world. I joined a PC communication organization called Nifty in summer in 1996 and have been a member since then. After being a member of Nifty, I had mainly discussed the articles of TIME and Newsweek much with other members of Nifty. In July in 1997 I thought it might be interesting to have my own web pages. So I began to make my web pages in early August. I put some of my opinions what I thought after reading English magazines there.
I could access to the Internet freely in May in 1998. Since I began PC communication, and especially since I entered the world of the Internet, I exchanged many e-mails with those who I found at the web pages. All of them were Japanese. But I couldn't continue to correspond with them for a long time. I don't know the reason well, but we got bored and lost interest in each other.
When I came across the web page of e-pals at the web pages (I don't have the URL now), I had only one Japanese e-pal. So I didn't expect much that I could enjoy and continue exchanging e-mails with many persons abroad. I only wanted to try some interesting things for some time. Perhaps, I was very curious myself at that time.
But my expectation was mistaken, and to my surprise in a better sense this time. As I have already told, I have been enjoying e-mails since then, and with some of my e-pals I have been corresponding for almost one year. Now I can't imagine the daily life without e-mails. Perhaps I was very lucky to have nice e-pals, for I can enjoy theirmails now and I have been taught many things by them.
I often think why I have been into the English e-mail so deeply. One year will pass by since I had the lucky encounter. It's very amazing for me.
Why didn' I give up e-mails? Perhaps I can mention some reasons. But the biggest reason is I have always been enjoying e-mails very much. I can't usually put up with anything if it's very dutiful one for me. I often feel my finger's and hand's pain caused by typing too much. But it's too fun for me to give up e-mails for good.
Before I enjoy writing English e-mails, I was too nervous about many mistakes I might make. Yeah, I was too serious. But I don't think so now. And I don't think my wish to write good English has achieved now neither, but I can write what I want to say in easy English. It's not perfect of course, and I can tell about 80% of my original meaning. But I am a Japanese, and I can communicate with others pretty well in Japanese. We don't have much trouble to get any information in Japanese. Nevertheless isn't it better that I can tell others what I want to say in English even if it's not perfect English? That is the way to think positively, and I learned it from my experience.
And writing something is also enjoyable indeed for me. I found that I can write on many topics and enjoy it after I entered Nifty, the PC communication organizatin. And I think writing in English isn't so different from writing in Japanese. Of course I can't use an elegant expression, nor use many complicated words or phrases when I write English. And perhaps I must have made lots of grammatical mistakes so far. But don't be so nervous about such things. I can say so to myself now.
I startred my English web pages in January this year. It was one of the fruitful results that I got from my experience of writing e-mails. I could do so because I had some confidence in writing English. Or did I become a little shameful after writing English too much? Some of Japanese begin to think differently when they use English. Language itself can teach us a different culture behind it. We can learn more than technical translation by reading and writing in other languages.
Many Japanese are said to be very nervous about speaking and writing English. Perhaps they are afraid of making mistakes, for I was so before. No, no. I can't have so confidence in speaking English even now. This is because we Japanese including me are inclined to think that we must be a perfectionist. Japanese society has respected such perfection as our tradition for a long time. So if we fail in making small mistakes in anything, we are likely to be ashamed of ourselves. Young Japanese may not think like older generations like me, for they have been taught by the native English-speaking teachers in their school. But such tendency may still stay with us today. But of course it's very strange. It's natural for us that we can't write or speak perfect english.
I thought Americans and Britains always speak and write perfect English. Of course as knowledge, I knew it was silly of me to think so, but anyway I thought most of Americans can speak very fluent English and write very nice English. Every Japanese can't speak our language perfectly and we often can't often write correct Japanese of course. Of course it's natural for us as our common sense teaches us. But if one thinks abstactly, one can hardly see the real world.
I have a few e-pals whom I write to almost every day. And I have also a few friends whose mother tongues are Dutch, Swedish, Chinese and Portugese. I really learned a lot from writing e-mails. Perhaps e-mails have shown me a new world to me in every sense. I can't give up such pleasure in the future. It's really strange that we can talk easily with others living on the opposite side of this globe through the internet and e-mails. We now live in such age.
I haven't read much during this period. But I also know I'm still interested in reading very much. I wanted to know if reading is still the most favorite pleasure for me, so I tried to read as many books as I could from early March to May. And I knew I could enjoy reading much though I hadn't read many books for some time.
But what is reading? Its meaning is changing little by little, I suppose. I read many texts in the internet though I don't read the book of paper form. I wonder if the quantity of reading materials has decreased so drastically. Perhaps not. I can't say what it means for me, but I must arrange adequate time division between reading and writing. And I had better more classical and difficult books sometimes perhaps. Those topic, however, is another story.
And I don't regret that I can't read much because I'm deeply into e-mails. Everything has its own time. For me it was necessary to write English much for the past year and in the near future.
And my dream is to write simple but elegant English in the future. I want to tell my stories correctly in fewer words. Of course I must know many words and expressions to write such short impressive English. Now it's true I have a dream. My dream may be smaller than M. L. King's, but it's the big dream for me at the present. And if my dream comes true, I will find another dream. You know that I'm very curious even now.
Thanks for giving me such dream, my dear e-pals.
July 5, '99